one month

Just a few thoughts on the last month before I head off to class. nothing in life comes easy, and this is never as true as in relationships. and though we're had a couple issues, and are still working to figure each other out, things have gone amazingly well. I'm quite happy and enjoying the wonderful feeling that only a new relationship can bring. I can't quite believe it's already been a month. I'm sure its a direct result of being apart more than we are together, and only seeing each other on the weekends, but also as a result of this is an actual awareness each time i return home alone of how we have grown closer. instead of a gradual deepening of feelings, its, for lack of a better word, a quantized relationship in which the changes are more intense. Also this is probably a result of the fact that when we are together, we spend almost the entire time at each others side for the couple days, and though dates and going out are fun, i think its really when you start simply working along side each other and taking comfort in the other's presence that a true bond begins to form. also on that note, silence can say much more about two people than conversation ever can. and so, on the one month anniversary of the day we met at mark's party and spent the entire night talking until 7am, I leave you with a picture that looks like it should be a postcard.



sam and i at santa monica a couple weeks ago 

oh and if you click the pic it gets bigger

a couple pics

oh county hospital, the 3rd world country where people are supposed to receive care, about which was recently discussed in the LA times how there were not appropriate safety measures taken to protect workers and volunteers from the criminals taken there, at which i myself volunteer.


LA county hospital where i volunteer 

and me and chun mei at el cholos on her 21st. we ordered margs but they didnt card us. of course. ive only been carded once now. get on your game people!


me and chun mei on her 21st 

its a me...

sounds exactly like me, almost to the point of ridiculousness

take the test

the Helper
you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO
"I must help others"
Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs
How to Get Along with Me
Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
Share fun times with me.
Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
Let me know that I am important and special to you.
Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
In Intimate Relationships
Reassure me that I am intersting to you.
Reassure me often that you love me.
Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me
What I Like About Being a Two
being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
being generous, caring, and warm
being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
What's Hard About Being a Two
not being able to say no
having low self-esteem
feeling drained from overdoing for others
not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

ruminations

there are some disadvantages to being a girl, for sure. i wish that i didnt have to put myself and the people i care about through those ridiculous couple days. i should just shut myself off from the world on those days. at least i know that it only gets better with time. i dont even know what to say. there are parts of myself that i want to change, but when its something i feel i have less control over, i dont even know where to begin. on another note, its hard to explain what being hapa really means. but its nice to be able to share that with someone

post vday thoughts

the distance makes it a lot harder to work through the miscommunications.

another late night

i hate nights alone in the apartment by myself. its times like this that i just want the comforting presence of someone next to me. we dont have to be talking. or even close together. just knowing someone else is alive and awake at this ungodly hour. thank god for aim, but i know its late when everyone is signed off.
on another note, things are going rather well in my life. i must say, i may have gotten one thing off my bday list. (the last one). :)